TheLeaderInside.com

Yikes – I was hoping to get this out sooner!
Again, just to remind everyone, I’ve recently become inspired to start reading ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’, by Stephen R Covey – I’ve read it before, but like any great book it seems to get better with each reading.

I thought might prove to be an interesting exercise (both for myself and the readers) if I post thoughts on Covey’s important ideas as I make my way through the book. Not sure how this will evolve, or how long it wil take, but one thing is for sure – it will be an interesting experience.

Ok, no point beating around the bush. Lots to cover!

For those of you unfamiliar with the book (which will be referred to simply as ’7 Habits’ for the sake of brevity) it essentially came about as a result of the PhD thesis research Stephen Covey conducted back in the mid 70′s. The research involved reviewing 200 years of success literature published in the US (starting from 1776).
While engaged in this review process, Covey noticed a very interesting pattern. The first 150 yrs or so of literature was greatly different than the last 50 yrs.

The earlier writings seem to revolve around what he refers to as the “Character Ethic”, vs the more recent works, having a foundation more closely tied with the “Personality Ethic”.
The Character Ethic, as described by Covey, centers (not surprisingly) around the importance of having a strong character – focusing on traits such as integrity, courage, humilty, patience and fidelity. The Personality Ethic on the other hand is more about ‘quick fixes’, skill & techniques, positive mental attitude (PMA) and is more concerned with how you present yourself to others – not so much about building a strong character.

I personally found this to be incredibly interesting, and VERY true (yet not something I’d ever really thought about). Early on in my self-help days I was desperately trying to find that ‘quick-fix’, or ‘social band-aid’ as Covey calls them. And what I found was that there was MORE than enough authors out there happy to offer their ‘ultimate’ strategies for success.

Of course this is not to say that there isn’t any value in these techniques, strategies, attitude adjustments etc, but what he points out is that they should be “secondary traits”, not “primary traits”.
If your basic, core character is flawed, in the long run it will be very difficult to truly find success and happiness, regardless of how skilled you are in social techniques and strategies.

To focus on technique is like cramming your way through school. You sometimes get by, perhaps even get good grades, but if you don’t pay the price day in and day out, you never achieve true mastery of the subjects you study or develop and educated mind. ~ Stephen R. Covey

Covey does concede that there are situations where a person’s basic character is good, but their social/communication skills are poor, thus impeding their success – but he argues that this is still of secondary importance. I couldn’t agree more, based on my own personal experience.

Anyway, I think thats enough for today!! I’m not very far in, but its already getting very interesting (well for me anyway ).
More on my ’7 Habits’ adventures soon!

~BC

Maybe you do. It is entirely possible that you can know too much. Most everyone will argue that it’s good thing to know the tiniest details, no matter if they’re good things or not.

Just the same, I really believe that there are many times when knowing less about the future, the world and our situations in general, can be beneficial. Sometimes it’s a good thing to be blissfully ignorant.

That statement doesn’t mean that you should ignore vital information or that you should just go crawl into a hole somewhere and shut out the world. However, if certain knowledge could have a negative impact on your life, then it may be wise to walk away without knowing about it. If the information is going to hold you back, overwhelm you, or cause you agony, it’s not necessary to expose yourself to it.

For example, think about how it would be if you were working hard to pursue a certain goal. If you had knowledge of all the possible ways you could fail, couldn’t this tend to make you reconsider and not even try? Maybe it would, and maybe it wouldn’t, but it seems that going after the goal would be easier if you didn’t have all those negative possibilities in mind. It is often easier to move forward if you’re not thinking about all the ways you could fail.

Ignorance can also be bliss when you are facing hardships. If circumstances force you to take on a job you dislike, you may enter your new situation with unpleasant and preconceived notions that can likely create the very circumstances you are dreading. Experiencing a situation with no expectations and no advanced notions can allow you to experience it as new, because your blissful ignorance prevented you from having any preset ideas.

If having too much information is going to work against you or isn’t going to help you in some way, then there’s nothing wrong in avoiding it. When information is emotionally draining, or slows down your progress, or causes distress, and it isn’t necessary to your experience, consider letting it pass you by. Remember the bliss of ignorance can sometimes be a gift.

~~~ DBL-R

I‘m thinking about how those self-imposed boundaries that we continuously create for ourselves relate in some respects to the way trees develop.

A tree grows up through its branches — and it grows down through its roots and sets itself into the earth. A tree also grows wider each year. As this growth takes place the tree has to periodically shed its protective bark. The bark is no longer large enough to contain the tree.

We do the same thing as we create boundaries and develop defenses to protect ourselves. However, at some point, we outgrow those boundaries and defenses and if we don’t shed them we hold ourselves back from developing and growing to our full potential.

A tree needs to have bark on it so it can proceed with the process of growth without suffering damage. We also need to develop certain boundaries and defenses to protect the more vulnerable parts of ourselves — and to allow ourselves to grow. As we grow, we find that we become stronger and less vulnerable and are able to shed some boundaries we no longer need. If we don’t loosen those defenses our growth process can become constricting.

The process of a tree shedding its bark and moving on to the next phase of its growth is a natural process. With us, however, we must make a conscious decision to “shed our bark” and move into our next ring of growth. Each time we shed a boundary or ease up on some defensiveness, we metaphorically become bigger people.

Therefore, we need to periodically take the time to question whether we still need our current boundaries and defenses. We should keep them as long as they’re needed, but we should also be ready to release them when the time is right. When that time does come, we will have created the space needed for our next growth phase.

~~~ DBL-R