TheLeaderInside.com

One of the attributes that can make or break someone in their leadership role, is whether they are miserable or happy. Here’s an interesting thought … have you ever noticed just how unhappy you can get over the fact you are not happy?

Does that make sense?

Think about it — being unhappy over being unhappy is like throwing gasoline on a fire to put it out. You get lots of fire and smoke — maybe more than you bargained for — but in the end all you are left with is a pile of ashes. This is why you must understand this next amazing fact.

You can make yourself miserable but you can’t make yourself happy.

That is one of those “hard to swallow” facts, isn’t it? But most of us, when we really think about it, can admit that at times we do make ourselves miserable. There isn’t anything good about feeling bad. It just doesn’t make sense to tolerate feeling miserable, especially when we bring it on ourselves. Whatever we bring upon ourselves, we can eventually eliminate if we can understand what’s making us do that. The truth that needs to be discovered here is that if we want to find authentic happiness, we have to realize that we can’t make ourselves happy.

Outside of drugs and alcohol, which are obviously not the way to happiness, whenever you try to make yourself happy, you must put forth an effort of some kind. Putting forth an effort means you are applying force of some kind. Putting effort into something is a good thing when you are following plans for business concerns or cooking or construction projects, but putting any sort of effort into becoming happy — working at becoming happy — is steering you in the direction of unhappiness.

How could this be true, you ask? Let’s look at it, because if it is true, then that would mean that true happiness is effortless, right?

As I mentioned above, effort implies a plan, whether we know it or not. Plans are, by definition, used to build things. If you have a plan to build happiness, and you have a picture of what happiness is firmly fixed in your mind, you will meet life always looking for your picture, rather than accepting and experiencing what life has brought you. Since life will most often bring you events contrary to your picture, you’re bound to experience the pain of stress. Why? Because you’ll see that life is not meeting your picture of happiness and you’ll be experiencing a series of disappointments instead of happy adventures.

Take notice of this next statement ….

You could never be unhappy with anything you found in this life if you didn’t already have it fixed in your mind what you were looking for.

Can you see that our ideas about happiness are more often than not the very root of our unhappiness? The point is that happiness cannot be made. Happiness comes to those who understand that you can’t seek it any more than you seek the air you breathe. Happiness is a part of life that is as natural as the air you breathe. Trying to be happy will not get you any closer to true happiness than smelling freshly-baked bread will take away your hunger. When you are pursuing happiness you are undoubtedly doing so based upon the false assumption that happiness can be possessed. It cannot.

Happiness is the natural expression of a stress-free life, just as sunlight naturally warms your body. Happiness is effortless.

~~~ DBL-R